Two Subtle Symptoms of the “Queen Bee Syndrome”
by Alicia Renee on 02/02/12
Two Subtle Symptoms of the “Queen Bee Syndrome”
By Alicia Renee Sheppard
Most of us probably wouldn’t describe ourselves as “Queen Bees,” women who engage in rivalry with other women. To us, girl drama is a problem we left behind in high school. But do you recognize the not-so-obvious symptoms of the Queen Bee syndrome? Here are a couple of them!
1. Hangin’ With the Guys
Some women are content to be “guys’ girls,” relying primarily on boyfriends, husbands, or male friends, rather than devoting a lot of time to female friendships. Why? Because often they think other women involve too much drama! But we are part of a larger body of both men and women that God desires to connect us with. When we cut off other women, we are cutting off access to potential blessings, power, and purpose. For instance, when Mary was pregnant with Jesus, she didn’t go to Joseph, she went to
I cannot count the times when a blessing or divine appointment in my life involved God using another woman, sometimes women I didn’t even think I “liked” very much! We can’t afford to close ourselves off from any part of God’s family—regardless of our pre-conceived notions of how much “drama” they are. When you cut off other women, you very well may be cutting off a counterpart to your purpose.
2. The “I Don’t Like Her” Trap
It’s hard to keep a holy attitude toward people we don’t get along with. Often, we don’t even recognize the “I don’t like her” mentality as a Queen Bee symptom. We usually feel it’s justified. But Matthew says, “If you love those who love you, what reward will you get?” So our attitude toward those who are hard to like, is what makes the difference between displaying true kingdom character, and acting like we don’t know Jesus at all. Does your attitude measure up? Find out with these two simple tests below:
The Samuel Test
The prophet Samuel had a major disagreement with the people of
She doesn’t have to be your best friend, but can you pray for other women and wish God’s best for them, even in moments of major disagreement? The ability to sincerely pray for those who are hurtful, ungrateful, or offensive (without wanting to seem more “spiritual” than them or prove you’re the bigger person) is a kingdom characteristic, and an indication that your attitude is in the right place.
The Joseph’s Brothers Test
Joseph and his brothers experienced severe sibling rivalry. The Bible says the brothers were so jealous of Joseph that they “could not speak a kind word to him” (Genesis 37:4).
When faced with difficult women, can you speak a kind word? Can you say hello, or even smile? Or do you greet them with an icy stare and chilling silence? Having a kingdom attitude also means showing kindness to the challenging people in our lives.
Making Healthy Changes
Make yourself available for God to move in your life, and also practice walking in unity, by being open to the right female connections—you never know what great testimony may arise! And when the other women are difficult to get along with, strap on the character of Christ and strive to have a holy attitude, even toward the hard folk!
